It's not like we've been hiding it from her--there's just really nothing to discuss with her, yet, since we don't know exactly what's going to happen. Or how it will effect her. But on Saturday, after I'd spent four plus hours of a beautiful day trudging through the GRE exam, Rashieme and I were once again chatting about the future on the car ride home. This time, though, Kaliah happened to be paying attention.
"What are you talking about, Mom?" she asked.
"I'm considering going back to college."
"Then who will be my mom?"
"I will be your mom, Kaliah."
It took me a moment to understand her concerns, to which I responded that I wasn't going away to college, but rather, that I would be driving back and forth to classes each day, if I even decided to go.
She considered this, then shrugged.
"I would have been happy with Miss WizB," she replied indifferently.
(Miss WizB is Kaliah's godmother. Apparently, she's a lot cooler than me. Also, she has a pool).
Just in case I didn't realize how uncool I was, Kaliah reminded me again tonight on the way to her science fair. I jokingly teased her that she was very lucky to have such cool parents. To which she responded, "Um, not really. You're not with it."
"Not with it?" I asked incredulously.
"You're not with it, Mom," she corrected herself. Apparently, her father is still "with it."
"I'm not with it?" I demanded.
I could start ranting about when "it" changed, and who changed it anyway, but maybe I was never really with it. After all, I've always preferred reading to movies. I've seen every single episode of Grey's Anatomy and could get into a heated discussion with anyone who cares about why I'm super excited that Burke is coming back. I run ridiculous amounts of miles without anything chasing me, for what Rashieme would tell you is for no apparent reason. There was a small part of me that actually enjoyed taking the GRE--especially the pressure that came with watching the timer in the corner tick down as I faced increasingly difficult reading passages.
I was nerdy before Napoleon Dynamite made it cool. And the kids in my classroom don't even know who that is anymore, which just goes to further confirm how uncool I've become.
Such is life. I think I'll keep my uncool mom status and see just how far I can take it while still maintaining some shred of dignity. There's a part of me that could definitely take the rollers-in-the-hair, bathrobe-around-the-house style to the next level.
And since apparently I'm completely replaceable by the cooler, hipper Miss WizB, what have I got to lose?
Kaliah: "You're so not with it, Mom."